Coping with Divorce

Going through a divorce is one of the most emotionally painful situations anyone could ever go through. The phase of “thinking about it” is its own brand of agony. The decisions you are making will affect everyone in your life who is close to you, the amount of time you see your children, your living situation and your money. If you are the one who wants the divorce and your spouse does not, this can create feelings of significant guilt that you need to work through as well. To make it even more difficult, you are probably walking around acting like everything is fine and not able to share this painful situation with more than a couple of people very close to you. It can feel like being in a vice grip that is being tightened every day.

Taking care of yourself is probably the last thing on your mind right now, but it’s something you need to make a priority in order to keep your wits about you! When you are making a decision this emotionally charged, and with so much complexity, you need all the well-functioning brain cells you can muster!

Here are some ideas to incorporate into your life to bring you a little stillness and peace:

  • Stay connected to one or two very close friends who will be there for you during those rough times. Even when you don’t have the energy, schedule a coffee date, go to a movie or give them a call.
  • Read to escape to another world. Read to gain information to help you with this journey. Read something that feeds your soul.
  • Meditate. If this isn’t part of your routine now, this is a great time to start. Just sit comfortably and focus on your breath for a few minutes. Be still. Try to do this for even a couple of minutes once or twice a day to find a little peace in your chaos.
  • Write in your journal. Explore thoughts and feelings you have. Make sure this is kept in a private place so you can go wherever your mind and heart take you.
  • Practice gratitude. Whether you write or just consciously think about it, make it a practice to note a few things every day for which you are thankful. This practice is scientifically proven to help elevate one’s mood.
  • Move your body. If your normal routine doesn’t include regular exercise, that’s okay. There’s no need to start something crazy right now. However, incorporating some exercise into your life will reduce your stress levels and help to clear your very overworked brain. Chose something that doesn’t feel like another thing you have to do. Go for a walk, maybe try a beginner yoga class, or dust off your bike.
  • Sleep. When your body doesn’t get the rest it needs, it simply doesn’t function at the level you need.
  • Nourish your body. As much as ice cream, french fries or not really eating all together seem like a good idea, you won’t be helping yourself. The better you eat, the better you feel. The better you feel, the more balanced you will be throughout your days. You are dealing with enough roller coasters right now. Let your food choices level you out.

Suggested Actions to Take Now!

~  Take what fits and leave the rest  ~

  • Reach Out

    Reach out to the family and friends who will be there to support you and truly have your best interest at heart

  • Identify Your Liffelines

    Identify your lifelines — those things you can do to keep yourself afloat when you feel like sinking

  • Find a Therapist

    If you haven’t already, engaging a therapist could be very helpful in this process. The emotions for everyone involved can be absolutely overwhelming