Celebrating Mother’s Day After Divorce
Mother’s Day is around the corner, and many women are finding themselves facing their first Mother’s Day after a divorce. If this describes you, then you might be feeling unsure about how to celebrate Mother’s Day without a partner to take the lead in planning family outings or helping your children find Mother’s Day cards. Even if it has been a few years, it can still be awkward and and a little sad.
Celebrating Mother’s Day post-divorce often requires finding ways to celebrate yourself, especially if your children are too young to make plans on their own. This might feel uncomfortable or disappointing at first, but it’s important to remember that you deserve to be celebrated for your hard work as a parent.
Teaching Your Kids to Celebrate You…Guilt-Free
If you’re single and have young children, then there’s a good chance you’ll need to make your own plans if you want to celebrate Mother’s Day. Chances are your ex-partner took the lead in planning Mother’s Day activities in the past, and depending on your ex, he may continue to do that moving forward. However, you should not feel uncomfortable about leading the charge in planning your own celebration.
There’s nothing wrong with teaching your children to celebrate you during Mother’s Day. In fact, not only do you deserve to be honored, but actively showing your children how to make Mother’s Day plans is a great way to teach them life skills like respect, thoughtfulness, and generosity.
Helping Children Choose Cards and Gifts
Many children look forward to giving their mothers cards and small gifts on Mother’s Day. However, depending on your children’s ages, they may not be able to provide cards or gifts on their own. If your children are young, you can sit down with them and make homemade Mother’s Day cards together. If you want to join the card-making festivities, but don’t want to make a card for yourself, you can make a Mother’s Day card for a friend, a relative, or your own mother.
If your children are old enough to make small purchases on their own, another option is to give each child a small amount of money and make a family visit to a local gift shop or mall. This way, your children will be able to enjoy surprising you with the gifts that they choose.
Spending Quality Time Together
You may not be getting breakfast in bed this year if your children are still too small to cook, but there are plenty of other Mother’s Day activities that you can do together. Many libraries, community centers, or other organizations offer special Mother’s Day crafting events or brunches. These activities are a great way to spend time with your children, while meeting other mothers in your community. Similarly, you can make reservations to take your children out to eat at a favorite restaurant. If you feel awkward about celebrating yourself on Mother’s Day, another idea is to spend time giving back to the community through a local soup kitchen or another place in need of volunteers. Whatever you do, let it be a fun day for you and the kids!
One of my favorite activities is to take a trip to the local nursery for flowers and herbs that we plant that day. The items we plant that day remain a source of connection through the summer when the kids water the plants and harvesting the herbs all summer to cook together.
Celebrating Mother’s Day on Your Own
There may be some years when custody arrangements or other conflicts mean that you won’t have your children at home on Mother’s Day. This can make it especially difficult to celebrate Mother’s Day after a divorce. Many mothers in this scenario choose to celebrate Mother’s Day earlier or later, depending on their custody schedule.
Another option for celebrating Mother’s Day when the children aren’t home is to find a way to connect with other mothers in your life. For example, is there a way that you can connect with your own mother or aunts on Mother’s Day? Do you have any friends who are in a similar post-divorce situation and who may appreciate your company? If you feel up to it, you could even volunteer to visit a local nursing home to spend time with women whose children or grandchildren may not have been able to visit on Mother’s Day.
Ultimately, Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate you. Parenting post-divorce is difficult, and Mother’s Day is an excellent time to focus on feeling good about your accomplishments.
Are you in search of more support and advice as you move through the divorce process? Please contact us to learn more about how Untangle the Knot can help.
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