For Moms: 10 Signs It’s Time for Your Child to Meet Your Partner
So you overcame being afraid of stepping back into the dating world, and you just happened to meet the perfect guy. Your heart no longer feels damaged, and any doubts you’ve had in previous relationships are non-existent in this one. But now comes something a little scarier: bringing your child onto the scene.
A common worry for the dating mom is wondering when it’s the right time for your child to meet your partner. Read through these ten signs to figure out if the timing is right for you!
1. The relationship has been stable for at least six months.
Experts recommend waiting until you’ve been together at least six months before bringing a new person into a child’s life after divorce. If there has been little confusion about your status together from the beginning and things are looking like they won’t change anytime soon, then you’re already a step closer to moving things forward. Hold off on introducing your child to your partner if things feel rocky or friends and other family members are unaware of you existing in each other’s lives.
2. You are completely comfortable around him.
It may be the right time to introduce him to your child if he feels like your best friend and you don’t have to hide the quirky parts of yourself or keep secrets from him. This trust should be evolving into a strong, unbreakable bond, and you should both feel entirely yourselves around one another. When there’s zero room for secrets, you fully know the person you’re with and can use this insight to determine whether or not they are a keeper, and more importantly, ready to become a part of the family.
3. You both know how to compromise.
When it comes down to simple adjustments, compromising should rarely be an issue. You should have established respect and should both be flexible with the other’s life. Showing that he can work around those he cares most about is a sign he’ll do the same for your child in the long-run.
4. He’s already shown signs of not backing down in a tough moment.
Say your boss was a little too hard on you for having to leave work early to pick up your sick child from school, or perhaps you fell behind on a bill, or maybe your pet passed away. In times of hardship, you weren’t alone. Your partner was by your side to comfort you and help you through things. If this is the case for you, then he may be ready to meet your child. Family life has its rough spots and knowing he’s been there through some hard times means he’s less likely to hit the road when the going gets tough.
5. A future together is easy to imagine.
When you ponder a future together, instead of saying, “how is this going to work?” everything should just fit in place like a puzzle. Maybe your schedules don’t clash, or you’re both non-smokers who absolutely adore dogs. Whatever the case may be, you should actually be able to picture the two of you building a life together. Of course, most importantly, when you envision how he’ll be with your child, you shouldn’t start having second thoughts.
6. You’re happy together.
Overall, if you can’t imagine yourself happier than you are with him, that’s an essential sign you’re ready to progress with things. If there is any tension or either party is miserable, your child will pick right up on that. Seeing both of you happy will make your child happy.
7. He takes an interest in your child.
When your child comes up in conversation, he shouldn’t get uncomfortable or try to change the topic. He should engage himself in everything you have to say and try to learn more. He should already know your child loves soccer and his or her favorite color is green. He should ask how he or she is doing without being nudged to do so. That’s the most important sign to look for.
8. Your child has a minor idea of who this person is.
Your partner shouldn’t be a total stranger to them when you introduce them as someone special. Sure, they haven’t been formally introduced, but he or she should at least have an idea of who you are spending your time with. If for some reason you haven’t felt comfortable bringing him up at all, that could be a warning sign.
9. You have an idea for the meeting ground.
You know it’ll be too weird for your child if you brought your partner over, and vice versa. This transition is a delicate metamorphosis, and you know comfort is key. You already have a park planned out with soccer nets, where he can give your child a brand new ball.
10. You’re prepared to keep things as simple as possible for awhile.
Again, this transition is sensitive and will take time to set in. The focus will be on your significant other and child forming a bond together, so that means no kissing or hand holding for a long while when your child is around. Be sensitive that your child may not really understand what’s going on, and may feel a little replaced by you having someone new in your life. He or she may also fear that his or her father is being replaced. You want to make it clear that these things aren’t happening and be very sensitive to your child’s feelings.
Do these ten signs hold true for you?
If so, you’re ready to make the move! If not, give it more time and see what the future holds. For more expert tips on life after divorce, check out Untangle The Knot.
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