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For Moms: 10 Signs It’s Time for Your Child to Meet Your Partner

So you overcame being afraid of stepping back into the dating world, and you just happened to meet the perfect guy. Your heart no longer feels damaged, and any doubts you’ve had in previous relationships are non-existent in this one. But now comes something a little scarier: bringing your child onto the scene.

A common worry for the dating mom is wondering when it’s the right time for your child to meet your partner. Read through these ten signs to figure out if the timing is right for you!

1. The relationship has been stable for at least six months.

Experts recommend waiting until you’ve been together at least six months before bringing a new person into a child’s life after divorce. If there has been little confusion about your status together from the beginning and things are looking like they won’t change anytime soon, then you’re already a step closer to moving things forward. Hold off on introducing your child to your partner if things feel rocky or friends and other family members are unaware of you existing in each other’s lives.

2. You are completely comfortable around him.

It may be the right time to introduce him to your child if he feels like your best friend and you don’t have to hide the quirky parts of yourself or keep secrets from him. This trust should be evolving into a strong, unbreakable bond, and you should both feel entirely yourselves around one another. When there’s zero room for secrets, you fully know the person you’re with and can use this insight to determine whether or not they are a keeper, and more importantly, ready to become a part of the family.

3. You both know how to compromise.

When it comes down to simple adjustments, compromising should rarely be an issue. You should have established respect and should both be flexible with the other’s life. Showing that he can work around those he cares most about is a sign he’ll do the same for your child in the long-run.

4. He’s already shown signs of not backing down in a tough moment.

Say your boss was a little too hard on you for having to leave work early to pick up your sick child from school, or perhaps you fell behind on a bill, or maybe your pet passed away. In times of hardship, you weren’t alone. Your partner was by your side to comfort you and help you through things. If this is the case for you, then he may be ready to meet your child. Family life has its rough spots and knowing he’s been there through some hard times means he’s less likely to hit the road when the going gets tough.

5. A future together is easy to imagine.

When you ponder a future together, instead of saying, “how is this going to work?” everything should just fit in place like a puzzle. Maybe your schedules don’t clash, or you’re both non-smokers who absolutely adore dogs. Whatever the case may be, you should actually be able to picture the two of you building a life together. Of course, most importantly, when you envision how he’ll be with your child, you shouldn’t start having second thoughts.

6. You’re happy together.

Overall, if you can’t imagine yourself happier than you are with him, that’s an essential sign you’re ready to progress with things. If there is any tension or either party is miserable, your child will pick right up on that. Seeing both of you happy will make your child happy.

7. He takes an interest in your child.

When your child comes up in conversation, he shouldn’t get uncomfortable or try to change the topic. He should engage himself in everything you have to say and try to learn more. He should already know your child loves soccer and his or her favorite color is green. He should ask how he or she is doing without being nudged to do so. That’s the most important sign to look for.

8. Your child has a minor idea of who this person is.

Your partner shouldn’t be a total stranger to them when you introduce them as someone special. Sure, they haven’t been formally introduced, but he or she should at least have an idea of who you are spending your time with. If for some reason you haven’t felt comfortable bringing him up at all, that could be a warning sign.

9. You have an idea for the meeting ground.

You know it’ll be too weird for your child if you brought your partner over, and vice versa. This transition is a delicate metamorphosis, and you know comfort is key. You already have a park planned out with soccer nets, where he can give your child a brand new ball.

10. You’re prepared to keep things as simple as possible for awhile.

Again, this transition is sensitive and will take time to set in. The focus will be on your significant other and child forming a bond together, so that means no kissing or hand holding for a long while when your child is around. Be sensitive that your child may not really understand what’s going on, and may feel a little replaced by you having someone new in your life. He or she may also fear that his or her father is being replaced. You want to make it clear that these things aren’t happening and be very sensitive to your child’s feelings.

Do these ten signs hold true for you?

If so, you’re ready to make the move! If not, give it more time and see what the future holds. For more expert tips on life after divorce, check out Untangle The Knot.



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Life After Divorce: Why My Ex-Husband’s Affair Was The Greatest Gift

Most of the time, when we hear the word divorce, we think only of the negative things like lawyer fees, loneliness, and long, drawn-out negotiations. But, believe it or not, there is life after divorce, and sometimes, it’s better than you could have imagined.

A True Story

Allow us to tell you the story of “Allison.” Her name has been changed to protect her confidentiality, but her story is true.

Allison got married young, at age 23, to a man named “Dylan,” whom she had known most of her life. Because she was friends with Dylan when she was a child, she mistakenly thought that she knew him. She dated him only briefly before getting married at a beautiful outdoor ceremony.

Unfortunately, before the wedding party even ended, Allison realized that she had made a mistake, when she caught Dylan flirting with one of the guests. And things only got worse from there.

In a short time, Allison became aware of all of Dylan’s previously hidden character flaws and addictions, and it wasn’t long before he was completely out of control. He started lying and stealing from her to maintain his phone-sex addiction. But, not wanting to admit defeat, Allison stayed in the marriage for five years, reasoning that he had never actually touched another woman. Until he did.

Once a real-life affair had taken place, Allison knew she had to end the marriage. As much as she hated to let go, cheating was the one thing she couldn’t put up with. And so, she filed for divorce. Since there were no children, and they had no shared property, the proceedings were fairly easy, but that didn’t make it any easier on her heart.

The Healing Process

After the divorce, Allison took a year off from relationships. She focused on herself and her needs. She found out that she’s a decent writer, and that, despite the fact that she’s always considered herself to be completely inflexible, she’s not bad at yoga, either. Allison also went to therapy to work out some of the reasons that she was attracted to this guy in the first place, and to allow herself space to grieve.

Finally, when Allison felt ready to date again, she started. Slowly. It was very hard for her to trust at first. If a guy called to say he’d be late, she would immediately believe that he was lying to her. After a while, she realized that she was trying to date without getting hurt; so, back to therapy she went. This time, she focused on releasing her fear of hurt feelings. She realized that dating was risky, but that with her new connection to her intuition, she could trust that she would choose a better partner this time.

A Happy Ending

And guess what? It happened! Roughly two years after her ex-husband moved out, Allison met a new man, “James.” James was honest, loving, and caring, and she was scared out of her mind. She knew that this could be the real deal. James knew right away that he wanted to be with Allison, but she was adamant that this time she would take it slowly. James was patient, and finally, Allison agreed to marry again.

Allison and James just celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary, and they have two beautiful children.

What’s the moral of this story?

Life does go on after divorce! It may not seem like it at the time, but great things are in store for you. The amazing part of this story is how much Allison learned and changed from her experience. The fact that she met someone else and built a new life was the icing on the cake. But learning who she really was, that was the true gift.

If you would like more information on how to survive and thrive after divorce, contact us. We are here to help.